Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (2014)
Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies is the latest movie from actor,writer, producer and director Cody Knotts who previously directed Breeding Farm (2013) and Lucifer's Unholy Desire (2012). It features a cast of wrestling legends such as Rowdy Roddy Piper, Kurt Angle, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Matt Hardy and Shane 'The Franchise' Douglas and a few other lesser known wrestlers and actors.
"The ring is the only place you can kill a man and get away with it", or so we're told in the intro. Shane 'The Franchise' Douglas performs a bad tombstone piledriver on a wrestler during a match killing him just because that wrestler stole his woman. Afterwards the brother of the dead wrestler Angus (Ashton Amherst) goes to the wrestling promoter (played by director Cody Knotts) to hire Shane Douglas and a few other wrestlers for a wrestling event he's holding in an isolated abandoned prison. Angus then abducts a nurse from a nearby hospital and cuts out her heart and eats it in a voodoo sacrifice ritual turning her into a zombie. That nurse then goes and massacres Shane Douglas' family just after he leaves for the wrestling event, turning all of them into zombies. Douglas meets up with Roddy Piper as they get on the bus and Matt Hardy and a few others are on it as well. Just before the bus arrives at the prison some rock band are getting ready to play but they're taken out by a horde of zombies. Kurt Angle arrives soon afterwards and is also attacked by a gang of zombies but he takes them all out with various wrestling moves followed by the line "Pittsburghers know how to take out the undead"... (cringe) but eventually he gets killed and turned into a zombie. When all the wrestlers and female wrestlers (or Divas or Bombshells or whatever they like to be called) they gather in the ring area. This soon turns into a zombie lumberjack match with the undead gathered around the ring, Piper, Franchise and Hacksaw in the ring and everyone else hiding in the corner. After taking out a lot of zombies as only wrestlers know how they all make a run for it to safety and hide while they try to find a way to escape from the prison without getting eaten. They then bump into Matt Hardy who was getting it on with some chick down, oh Matt you dog! After some more zombie bashing and back stabbing followed by cheesy one-liners from Shane Douglas such as "I eat chumps like you for breakfast, you're way too indie-licious for The Franchise" (cringe) and a few from Piper as well "I beat cancer,this ain't nothing" and "I'm an icon - ask Hogan!", the remaining survivors escape from the prison only to be chased out there by Angus and his horde of zombies again. Angus finally comes face to face with Shane Douglas and chokes him to death with a chain... Why the fuck couldn't he have done that in the first place instead of trying to start a zombie apocalypse!? Fucking knobhead! (shakes fist) After some more wrestling moves and zombie kills with some good gore and some not-so-good gore, Piper saves the day and gets the girl - Woohoo! (cue the cheesy bagpipe music)
This movie was released on dvd by Troma but when I first heard of it a year or two ago i'm almost certain it was being advertised by Full Moon. Not sure if Full Moon passed on it or if Troma stole it from them but I can say that it definitely fits in well with the cheesiness of either studio. I'm a big fan of low-budget horror, zombie movies and wrestling in the 80s and 90s so I don't know why I didn't love this film. Maybe i'm not used to seeing wrestlers in low-budget stuff these days and i'm just too used to seeing them in the big budget movies the WWE are churning out all year long. I guess when you've got wrestlers literally playing themselves in a film there's only so much you can do with a script, in between all the wrestling and zombie killing we get the same badly acted melodrama that you'd see in between matches on TNA or old ECW. Sometimes the dialogue is so cheesy and downright awful its as if the script was written by a stoned teenager. The camerawork and lighting are so terrible at times its as if it was filmed with an iPhone and a flashlight. They obviously didn't have proper sound while filming and tried to re-record everything in post, badly. So bad in fact that most of the time the dubbing is way off, it looks like a badly dubbed 80s flick.
Maybe that was their intention, I don't know.
Piper is the only reason really worth watching this for, he's slumming here but he's the only one who gets any half decent dialogue or screen time. Everyone else is criminally underused and Shane 'The Franchise' Douglas comes off as an arrogant twat. I'd like to know what 'franchise' he's been keeping in business - Burger King or McDonalds? (only joking, i'm sure he's a nice bloke) This film might appeal to hardcore wrestling fans and would probably go down great with a nice few beers before or after watching Wrestlemania or some other PPV, to sit through it sober was a bit of a chore and almost as painful as a chair shot to the face.
Check out the Trailer and more pics below